I saw this title on Facebook (can't wait to see what has replaced FB when you are 18) and couldn't help but read this "letter". A mom wrote a letter to her 2 year old daughter for her to read when she is 18. I of course cried my eyes out as every word reminded me of you. So here is my attempt to express the emotion I have for you in my heart.
As you go through your childhood and enter your teenage years, which scares me to death, I can only hope that we have the same relationship that your Nana and I had when I was a teenager. The standard or understanding seems to be that a mother and daughter will fight/not get along during those years but that isn't the experience I had. So I will do everything in my power to ensure you have that same experience. I want to see you for the young girl/young adult you have become with every attempt to understand the roller coaster ride you will be on.
There may be moments of uncertainty for you. Moments that you don't know where life is taking you.....maybe you don't know what you want to do with your life....but maybe not. Maybe you are going to be relentlessly determined and ambitious like your daddy. Wherever life takes you know that I love you and will always be a phone call away....know matter the time.
So just like the mom who wrote the initial letter didn't want to completely rely on the utter bliss she was hoping to have through those teenage years....I won't either. In the event we get off course I want you to know how our relationship is right now at your sweet age of 2.
My sweet Emma I could stare into your big blue eyes forever! You have lips just like your daddy and I love to kiss them as often as I can! You have beautiful long brown hair....the same color and length my hair was at this age. Outside of your sassy little attitude and your hair you are all your daddy! You look just like him and he absolutely loves that...so do I! To say that I worship the literal ground you walk on is putting it lightly.
Your facial expressions say everything though that doesn't stop you from expressing your every emotion. When you are happy everyone knows it and when you are mad everyone knows it. You will lay on the floor in a tantrum...which I just leave you there to work through it. Is this my glimpse into your teenage years? Though as soon as you do you typically move on to something else...so whatever you were mad about seems to fade.
To say you are independent is an understatement. Its not just an independence though...its already a sense of responsibility I see in you. You will get a bowl out for your pancakes, which you eat almost every morning....blueberry, and immediately know to close the cabinet door. I don't think I taught you that. Yes I should have but I didn't ....you just do it. Maybe that sounds silly to point that out for some reason its something that stands out to me. There are certain things that make up our personalities that I believe we are born with...not taught. When it comes to teaching you things we only have to show you one time. You just get it after that......and you want to do it on your own 99% of the time.
You are obsessed with Minnie Mouse! It literally looks like Minnie Mouse threw up in our house. I have lost count of how many stuffed Minnie Mouse dolls you have at this point. From even before you could talk you were in love with Minnie. You are a little fashionista which I am desperately hoping turns into something...meaning your career is in fashion and you can be my personal stylist as I lack in that area! As much as you love purses, shoes, clothes and jewelry you won't hesitate to get your brothers super heroes and trucks out to pretend and play with. I like to think that is great balance.
You and your brother love to go in mommy and daddy's room and literally face plant yourselves on our bed and root your way through all of our pillows. Things we hear on a daily basis....sure, stop it (usually to your brother), Minnie, Nana/Papa, and thanks. You whine when you are tired or are simply not getting what you want when you want it. Yes, this does make me want to run out of the room screaming at times. For quite sometime all you did was screech but then that grew into whining so while I thought the screeching would never end...I can deal with the whining.
Bedtime for you is hysterical. While you are fairly easy to put down and always have been you will still try and fight the inevitable. We start out rocking...which I love more than sleep....and you immediately sit up and we go through your very short list of relatives...those that live under your roof and the two that don't. You ask, "where's daddy?", "where's Cash?", "where's Nana?", and "where's Papa?". Not necessarily in that order. You ask in a very quiet voice and then in your very loud voice. I consistently tell you each one is "night night" in the hopes that will encourage you to do the same. When its time for me to lay you in the bed you do so with all your Minnie's laying around you. While there are moments that I am eager to get you down there are more moments that I am not. I know that one day when you are leaving to be with friends or to go on that first date I will be crying on the inside...and maybe the outside....actually definitely the outside....wanting you to stay with me...FOREVER! While I know that isn't reality and I will hug you...let you go...and tell you to "have a great time"...I will be terrified for you. I am terrified for you now.
We all ask you, for a laugh, if you love us and your answer is always "no". Now you think its just a game because when we tell you we love you more often than not you say "I wuv wu too". Those very words melt my heart. We still ask you if you had a good Christmas and you say "no". Now its "did you have a good birthday?" and you say "no". Not sure why but you are pretty matter of fact about it.
The one thing that stands out more than anything else is how kind and sweet you are. You love to give hugs and kisses. I have never heard a child say thanks, excuse me, please, or bless you (when someone sneezes) like you do. I would like to think that being home with me each day had something to do with this. You love to share (depending on your mood) and your best friend is your brother by far!
Emma Beth I am your biggest fan! My heart literally aches with all the love I have for you. My relationship with you is different than it is with your brother simply because you are my daughter. I treasure our bond and will forever. No matter what your future holds, no matter where you go...I will always be with you.
I love what I read at the end of that initial letter....
I love you now at 2 and I love you at 18!
