The first two months....

I can say we feel blessed to have such a good baby....actually blessed to have had two good babies.    We are more confident, wiser, and probably more relaxed (if you can use that word for Ben and I) than we were the first time.  I think that is to be expected.  We are enjoying every moment with Emma and really trying to just take it all in.  I was so obsessed with getting it all right with Cash and now I am not lost in the details but lost in her.  I regret that I couldn't be that way with Cash but I guess that is just the nature of the "first".

When we brought Emma home she became very jaundice.  Cash was also jaundice but not as bad as she was.  Although looking at her I couldn't tell at all.  Her pediatrician, Dr. Brandy McCray wanted to see her just for the initial routine newborn check up and she was immediately concerned about her color.  So because my milk had not yet come in I had to supplement with formula which I was not happy about.  I already felt defeated at breastfeeding and I hadn't even started.  None the less Emma's health was more important than my "want" to nurse her exclusively.  I started to supplement with Enfamil and we quickly realized she was not keeping any of it down...which also scared me.  Dr. McCray advised we try Nutramogen (lactose free) formula.  That seemed to agree with her.  My milk came in on day 4 though my body was doing what it was suppose to do I still felt like I wasn't going to be able to just breastfeed.  I think I felt that way because I wasn't successful at it with Cash.

So I am now exclusively breastfeeding which I have to say was the most complicated process for me to understand!!  Thank God for Megan Brown.  I told her the other day that she is like a walking/talking "what to expect in the first year".:)  She really has been my rock through what I consider a huge commitment!  The when, and how do you know how much they are getting, and for how long and what time, etc. etc. etc.   Its all so much to comprehend and manage but I am proud to say I am doing it and I think doing it well finally.  Its funny because every time Ben calls me I am either pumping or nursing.  It really does seem like that but I wouldn't have it any other way.  I wish I could have been successful at breastfeeding Cash but I had no idea what I was doing then.  I can remember the lactation nurse coming in when I had Cash and I practically dismissed her like I had it all figured out....uh no..I did not!  Lesson learned!

Emma is now sleeping from 11-5 each night.  She is more alert during the day and starting to coo.  We love seeing all of her facial expressions and getting her to smile at us.  Ben is always asking me if I am still infatuated with her and I am.....I SO am!  Having a son is a certain kind of proud...the kind of proud that makes you want him to grow up to be a strong, outgoing, grounded, and well rounded man.  Having a daughter is very different for me.   So much pride but a feeling of never wanting her to date, leave the house..at least until she is 30...and even Cash said he and his daddy will have to take out any man that would want to marry her and make sure they are nice to her.  I couldn't agree more!

Every day is a gift with our sweet girl and we are absolutely loving every minute!

Siblings

Cash was so excited to have a baby sister and though he new she would be little he could not have known how it would be to have a newborn in the house.  Cash has been the only child for 6 years so while we knew it would be a transition for him I think I was overly optimistic that the changes to come would be easy for him.  Its so hard to remember that Cash is just 6 years old.  He's independent in so many ways but at the same time he is still very much a "little" boy.  

He is very good with Emma and wants to help a lot..which I knew he would.  It is so sweet to see him hold her.  She just stares at him and I know that admiration of her brother will always be there.  The one thing Ben and I hope for is that Cash and Emma always remember that they have each other throughout the changes that life can bring.  We hope the bond they build is everlasting and unbreakable.  

Emma Beth McPeak

So I really wanted to go into labor as I was induced with Cash but for some reason I didn't think that would happen.  I thought I would have to be induced again.  In fact I scheduled an induction for July 11th.  Ben had so many gigs at the beginning of July and even though I wanted to go in to labor naturally we were also hoping it wasn't while he was at a gig.  Although...I do remember telling him toward the end that I didn't care if he was at a gig..I just wanted to "have this baby".  That was the uncomfortable talking.:)

The week of June 24th I started to lose my mucous plug which was exciting but I also knew that really didn't mean I would go in to labor.  I still had it in my mind that I would be induced on the 11th.  Much to my surprise and denial I was wrong.

I felt pretty good the morning of the 27th.  Stephanie Leavelle asked to pick Cash up that day to play with the boys so she picked him up that morning and I headed to my office to sit with my maternity leave back up Yvette for about an hour.  Of course that was also a time for me to visit with my work family.  I was sitting at a coworkers desk, Kenifet...who's wedding we were at just the Sunday before, and I started to feel nauseated.   So I left for home which was about 3:45pm and when I got there I felt much better.  Ben did in fact have a gig at the JW Marriott that evening so he came home and started to get ready.  I laid on the bed..not only because I was tired but also to chat with him while he got ready.  Not to long after laying there I started to have contractions...which I thought were just Braxton Hicks.  They were much stronger though and I was in complete denial!  I told Ben I was hurting and I could tell he was a little worried but while denying labor to myself I was trying to make him deny it as well.  My contractions were about 3-4 minutes apart at 4:30pm.  Ben asked me if he should just stay with me and I said no that he should go to his gig..that I wasn't in labor but would call him if anything changed.:)  What was I thinking!!!!????  I tried walking around which actually calmed my contractions but the minute I would lay back down they started again.  He told me I should call my mom so I did and she came over.  She was to say the least in a panic....which made me more nervous but at the same time I think I knew down deep she was right...she said, "you are in labor".   She had me call the hospital and speak to labor and delivery.  They advised I come to the hospital and be triaged in OB so my mom grabbed the bag I had packed and off we went.

I texted Ben to let him know and told him I would just keep him informed as I knew more...still in denial.  I felt so silly going to the hospital as I just knew they were going to send me home for false labor.  I had also texted Stephanie to let her know but I asked her not to tell Cash as 1) I didn't want him to worry and 2) if I was really in labor then I wanted it to be a surprise for him when they got him to the hospital.  I was the only one in OB triage when I got to North Central Baptist about 6pm.  I was given a hospital gown, hooked up to the fetal monitor and low and behold my contractions never let up and just got closer together.  The nurse checked me and I was dilated to a 3 which was progress of 1cm since the Monday prior.  

 OB Triage at North Central Baptist Hospital

My dad got there shortly after we did.  I felt blessed to have my parents there.  The one person I missed terribly at that moment was Linda Beth my aunt and dad's sister.  Emma is her namesake.  She was there when Cash was born as she was a labor and delivery nurse in Lufkin and taking nothing away from my mom and Ben..she was just such a solid force in a situation like that.  She was so calm and gave me strength when I needed it.  I had always hoped that if Ben and I did have another baby that she would have been there but I know without a doubt that she was there in spirit watching over us both.

The nurse checked me again and I was at a 4.  Dr. Farhart was oncall that evening and the nurse contacted him to ask if I should be admitted.  He did in fact say I was in labor and they admitted me.  I texted Ben to let him know and he did what we were trying to avoid..he had to tell his audience that he was leaving because his wife was in labor.:)  An exciting story to share with our sweet Emma though.  Ben got there just as they were going to take me to a room.  I was never so excited to see someone...Emma's daddy was there and all was right...we were about to embark on yet another miraculous journey together.

We had been in touch with Jason and Stephanie during this time and they were going to bring Cash up to the hospital and of course he still didn't know anything.

I was checked again upon getting to L&D and was at a 5.  Dr. Farhart came in and broke my water which seemed to not only intensify my contractions but speed up the dilation process.  That is putting it mildly.  I was in such pain....yes a few curse words came out and I possibly lost hair during that time from pulling on it.  My mom was reminding me to breathe but it was so hard to remember as I was holding my breath during every contraction.  Even breathing was painful.:)  When he broke my water he saw meconium in the water which meant that Emma had pooped in her pool (amniotic sac).  Normal but scary as NICU had to be on hand to ensure that her lungs were clear after birth.

By this time Jason brought Cash up there.  When he got to the hospital he was so confused as he thought Ben's gig was there at the hospital and Ben told him that I was there to have Emma.  He was so excited.  He came in to the room and was so sweet, and very curious!  All the machines, me in labor, and just being at the hospital was exciting but I think overwhelming.  Overwhelming until he realized they had a gift shop, grill w/ food, drinks and best of all candy, and a hospitality area where they all sorts of free snacks and drinks for patients/family members.  He was in heaven.:)

Andy, Ben's brother, came up which Cash was so excited about as he really adores him.  He stayed and between him and my dad Cash was kept entertained.

Laura was my nurse during labor and she was so incredible.  I could not have asked for a better nurse or oncall doctor for that matter.  They were so confident and calm..which is opposite me so they were just what I needed.

I was begging for an epidural at this point and having a contraction while getting an epidural was a challenge..at least for me.  After receiving the epidural Laura checked me again and I was at a 6 almost a 7.  Just like when I had my epidural for Cash it wasn't numbing my right side.  The anesthesiologist came in and gave me more pain meds but very little as we didn't want to take the chance of them slowing my labor down.  None the less it was all for not because the extra meds couldn't catch up with my labor.

By this time it was about 11:15pm/11:30pm and we were trying to determine if my dad should take Cash home or just stay.  Laura shared that she thought we were looking at delivering probably around 3am the next day so they could probably go ahead and take him home.  She then decided to check me before we made the final decision so we could get a better gauge on what to do.  Well that moment was the deciding factor as I was already at a 9 and she said we would be having our sweet girl within an hour or so.  Cash stayed and he was so thrilled.   He fell asleep in the waiting room until Emma arrived.

Laura prepped for me to start pushing and my mom and Ben were there to support me mentally and physically.  Laura was so great as well..she was such a positive force during that time..she really helped me focus and stay motivated to keep pushing without feeling like I couldn't push another second.  I asked for a mirror so I could see Emma's head start to crown which is just so amazing and I so recommend to anyone having a natural birth.  Its so rewarding to see your child make their way in to this world from your body.  Just knowing that you are making that happen is beyond words.  After pushing for about 15 minutes or so Dr. Farhart came in for the delivery.  I pushed for about 30-35 minutes and our sweet Emma made her appearance.  We didn't know that she had the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck twice which Dr. Farhart said is what made her poop in her pool.

Ben was and is so proud of her.  Its fun to see his softer side as he begins the amazing journey of raising a little girl.  He is already doing such a great job and Emma could not ask for a better father and man in her life.  She has three great men in her life already...her father, brother and her grandfather.  What a lucky little girl!

Cash came in to the room with my dad and Andy and he was so excited to meet his baby sister.  He of course wanted to hold her.  It was love at first sight.  

I think my mom fell in love instantly..as she did with Cash but its funny...I think we have all become more confident since having Cash so with the second we are more relaxed.

My dad went home and my mom took Cash to our house.  He didn't want to go all the way to my parents as he wanted to get up the next morning and come straight up to the hospital.  I am not sure if it was to see Emma or get more free snacks from the hospitality room.:)  He is a snackaholic!  

I could not have been happier with the way the delivery went.  The epidural wore off fairly quick and I was wide awake.  Wide awake while Emma's daddy was sound asleep. :)  There wasn't a room available for us yet so we had to stay awhile in L&D.  It was around 3 or 4am that I was in the bathroom talking to Yvonne on the phone.  I just could not sleep.  Emma was still in the nursery and I guess the excitement of it all was keeping me up.  

We finally made it in a room and I was still wide awake...and could not sleep to save my life.  They brought Emma to us and Ben and I were able to just spend some time with her alone.  It brought back a lot of memories of having Cash during that first 24 hrs.  So many moments of just staring at this new life you brought in to the world and thinking it was unreal that two people could create such perfection. I told Ben we make beautiful babies.  We feel blessed to have two healthy beautiful children.  

All about our 2nd pregnancy

From the moment we decided to try for our second child I stopped all caffeine, started prenatal vitamins and of course became my true to form self....OCD in overdrive.  I was once again completely over the top with worry.  I was so over the top that I had my co-worker/very good friend Yvonne Garcia bring her heartbeat monitor (she was also pregnant at the time) and we listened to Emma's heartbeat sitting at my desk at work.  Yes, I was completely paranoid.  I did the same with Cash...accept with Emma..for some reason I couldn't truly imagine her in our day to day lives.  I didn't really believe the day to day until about a month ago....she was already a month old.  For both Ben and I having a second seemed very surreal.  It even feels strange to say "kids".  We just always thought there would be only 1...and now there are 2.

Emma Beth McPeak 12 weeks

I absolutely loved feeling Emma move and I looked forward to each OB appt.  It was just exciting to see the progress made as we anticipated her arrival.  Ben spent a lot of time talking to my stomach and I I always wondered what she thought about that deep voice.  Today it calms her down ...so I guess I have my answer.

As I got closer to the end of my pregnancy I was tired of being pregnant....everyone kept telling me to enjoy it as it was the last but for some reason I couldn't focus on that in all my misery.:)  I felt bigger than I did with Cash but I guess at the end of any pregnancy you feel big.  Megan Perkins took some great maternity pictures of which I am using to do a before and after for Emma's room.

32 weeks 

Telling Cash about Emma

After Cash found out Carter was having another little brother or sister he wanted a sibling so bad but not just a sibling...he specifically wanted a little sister.  Well I don't know so much about the little part....as he shared he wanted a sister but he wanted her to grow up really fast so she could be his big sister.  He would pray to his heart because he knew God was in his heart and he would ask for a little sister.

I had the MarterniT21 blood test to find out if there were any abnormalities but the test also determined gender.  It was mid December when we got the call.  We were at Nordstrom, in the men's department and the nurse at Dr. Carroll's office, my OB at the time, called to let me know that not only was the baby healthy but that we were having a little girl.  I instantly started crying...tears of joy as Cash says.  I told Ben but we had not shared with Cash yet that he was going to be a big brother.   I had previously ordered Cash a tshirt that said "I'm Going to be a Big Brother" and with it came a little tshirt for the baby that said, "I love my big brother".  I called my parents and they of course ran out to BabysRUs and started one of the many shopping trips for girl clothes.  We all met at our house and had Cash open his tshirt and read it out loud.  It really didn't register at first...and then it clicked...he was SO excited!  After telling him that he would be a big brother we then told him that he was having a little sister.  He could hardly contain himself and instantly our lives seemed to go from a family of 3 to 4...even though she wasn't even here yet.  I am not sure why but it seemed more real once we told Cash.

Megan Brown took some great shots of us for our New Year/pregnancy announcement card...it was cold but I couldn't wait to announce the anticipation of our sweet Emma.