Cash Brown McPeak

I was 37 weeks when we realized Cash was pretty big and was set to be around 9lbs if I went to full term.  So Dr. Carroll, my OB with the Institute of Women's Health, advised that she could induce labor at 38 weeks.   That was when you could do that legally.  Now its only a week early unless medically necessary.  I was almost 100% effaced, had lost some of my mucus plug but was only dilated 1/2 a cm.  None the less the thought of being induced was music to my impatient ears.  I wasn't really miserable but more just so excited to meet this sweet boy that was literally taking over my body.

So my aunts Linda and Judy came in the day before my induction, my parents were in from Baton Rouge and we were preparing to head to the hospital.  It was November 2, 2006.  Ben and I left to grab a bite at Luby's before heading to North Central Baptist for an 8pm check in.  I don't even know what we talked about.  I know we did talk and if I had to guess the conversation went something like this...."can you believe what is about to happen?" and "can you believe this time tomorrow.....?"!

We checked in to the hospital and they hooked me up to all the stuff they hook you up to.  They started my pitocin and the nurse said, "its on a slow drip and you probably won't feel anything until around 5am".   WRONG!  My parents and aunts came up to my room after we were settled in and I had already started having contractions.  I was in pain but I can remember Linda's face as if I was looking at her right now...she told me to focus on one thing, which for me was a sprinkler head in the ceiling and she was just so calm.  To say she was an angel doesn't even begin to describe her.

Everyone left and we waited....not without pain I might add.  I had Ben tell the nurse I was in pain so she gave me nubane.   I didn't want an epideral yet and I don't even think it was time to give me one so bring on the nubane.  Mind you this is me...the person that kept saying I would love to give birth with no drugs at all.  NOT!  Bring on the drugs!  So she did and it got worst before it got better.  At some point in the early morning hours and I only know this because Ben and my mom told me as I had lost time somehow....I was on all fours, in pain, and Ben was in the bathroom throwing up.  He said he thought my head was going to start spinning around but he also said he was sick from something he ate.  Hmmmm....I am thinking it may have the fact he was scared to death and me on all fours about to turn exorcist on him wasn't helping.

He got my mom to come up to the hospital as he didn't know what to do and the next thing I really remember was getting my epidural and starting to push.  I pushed 4 hours!!!!!!!  YES!  FOUR HOURS!!!!!!  It was insane and if I had known better I wouldn't have ever let that happen.  Actually, now that I think of it, I don't know why Linda or my mom didn't speak up to get the show on the road a lot quicker.  While pushing I wanted to see what was going on which I never thought I would do.  The nurse got a mirror for me and I could see Cash's full head of brown almost black hair and it gave me the strength to bring him into this world even faster.

I did get scared as it had been 4 hours and they started talking c-section which I was terrified of.  Yes, for the entire reason of not wanting another scar on my body and my stomach not going back to the way it was pre-baby!  Linda told me everything was going to be fine and that "we are about to have a baby".  I knew we were and we did.  Dr. Carroll got the vacuum and gave me an episiotomy..she pulled and I pushed and our sweet Cash Brown McPeak came in to this crazy world.

Cash looked so much like Ben....just like Ben when he was born.....7lbs 12oz and 20.75in at 12:17pm!

All about our 1st pregnancy

My pregnancy really was great!  I had no real sickness, aches or pains.  No stretch marks and was all belly.  I couldn't have asked for a better pregnancy.  Cash was very big for my little frame but I think we grew nicely together.  I can remember when he turned head down he always had his little tushy poking out on my upper right side.  I would just pat his little butt!

I didn't show super early but because I was so tiny I couldn't help but show a little earlier than normal...or what I think is normal.  I felt him move at 13 weeks and Ben felt him at 15 weeks.  We were in a hotel downtown when he felt him for the first time.  The minute I felt him it was even more overwhelming.....the amount of love and the feeling of being his protector was just more than I could bare at times.   I was very paranoid and overly anxious about keeping him safe and ensuring he came in to this world healthy.  I am still that way a bit...but would like to think I am better about letting him fly.

4th of July in Lufkin - 1st/surprise baby shower

We went to Henderson for the annual Brown 4th of July fish fry and were given a surprise baby shower by my dad's side of the family.   We were honored, touched and so blessed to have our family celebrate our sweet boy!

I believe by this time we had already picked Cash's name.  I tossed a few names out to Ben....Jackson and Gavin are the two I really liked.  Ben liked Gavin but then....he tossed Cash at me....I thought..Cash?????  I had never heard that name and thought ok...it must be the banker and the singer thinking with both sides of the brain at one time.  After awhile it grew on me and now I can't imagine Cash having another name.  He is Cash...and for so long..the one and only.  We have received more compliments about his name and now here it more and more.  I have always said that the name Cash is one of greatness...he will do great things....and could only be given to a kid that can carry such a name...and he can...he does.

We took some belly pics while in Lufkin as I was already 5 months pregnant so I was showing pretty good by that point...all belly.

Being in Henderson, once held only in Lufkin, was really nice as my dad's two sisters were there....and everyone was happy...Linda was a labor and delivery nurse and I knew I wanted her in the delivery room with me.  She was calm and cool under pressure...I thought that would certainly be a place of pressure...so calm and cool would be needed.

It's A Boy!!

I wanted to have the new 3D ultrasound that had recently come out and scheduled it around my 13th week of pregnancy.  We wanted to know the sex as I could hardly wait.  I just knew it was going to be a girl.  I mean...I am a girl....I was the only girl...what in the world would I do with a boy??  There was no other option but for our first baby to be a girl.  Ben said from the moment he found out we were pregnant that we were having a boy.

The very moment the tech told me we were having a boy I was thrilled.  I think Ben thought I was disappointed but I wasn't.  I instantly became a boy mom and knew I would have his heart and he would have mine for the rest of his life!  My mom was with us when we found out and we called my dad who was instantly emotional and just so excited.  Speaking of hearts....I think the person that had Cash's heart immediately was my dad's and vice versa.  It was a connection in utero.

...and then came baby

Ben and I decided on our wedding night that we would start "trying".  WHAT????  I have no earthly idea what we were thinking.  Was it age...was it the moment...was it that we were truly ready?  Is anyone ever truly ready for children?  I don't know what we were thinking outside the fact we had just gotten married, were in our hotel room...on our wedding night and it seemed like a great idea at the time.  I do know in our minds we had sort of told ourselves that maybe it wouldn't happen right away so start early and enjoy the time we would have together while we did.

Well....it seems God had big plans for us and sooner than we thought as 3 months almost to the day we got married we were expecting our first baby.  To say I was over the moon is an understatement!  Ben was very happy....excited...scared....and I think in a little disbelief it had happened as quickly as it did.

I was actually about to have lasik eye surgery and had a pre-op appointment on Thursday, March 9th prior to my surgery which was scheduled that following Monday.   Dr. Rashid asked me if I was pregnant and of course I say no (not knowing) but shared that we were trying.  He said we should hold off on trying until a few months after my surgery as hormones can changed eye sight so he wouldn't get accurate results if I did in fact get pregnant right after surgery.  I was a little disappointed at the thought of waiting but I also knew it would be great to no longer wear contacts/glasses.  My idea was that I would be able to get up in the middle of the night to see our baby without having to reach for glasses or go to bed with my contacts on which I had done so many times.  I left that appointment on the 28th day of my cycle and knew that I would be starting any minute.  I also left very excited for my upcoming surgery that Monday.

Ben was in Houston at a gig that Thursday so it was just me at home.....this is very important as it seems to be a theme for our pregnancies.  I am writing this in 2016 as I have only been blogging about 3 years.

The next morning, Friday, March 10, 2006 I got up to get ready for work.  It was 6am.  I realized when I got up that I had not started yet.  The only real reason this stuck out in my mind was because Dr. Rashid did share that I obviously could not have the surgery if in fact I was pregnant.  I certainly didn't think I was...no symptoms...well no symptoms of anything...pregnancy or otherwise.  I happened to have a test at home from the couple of months prior and decided I should take one for giggles.  DRUM ROLL PLEASE......

IT WAS POSITIVE!!!!!  It took no time for that plus sign to show up and I was not even officially late yet.  I could not believe it and couldn't wait to get Ben on the phone.  I called him and of course he was sleeping as he had gotten in late from his gig...so to say the least it didn't really sink in.  I got a "really? that's great."...HA!  I figured it was best to hang up and let that sink in for a bit.  It did and when he really woke up and the fog cleared he called me confirming that what he thought he heard was in fact correct.  YAY!  We were going to have our first baby!

I knew that the unofficial "rule" was to wait until you are 12 weeks to share the news but I couldn't.  I called my parents immediately and told them.  They lived in Baton Rouge at the time and they were so excited!!!!  I got to work and shared the news with a close friend there and realized the timing may have been a little awkward as I had only been working there for 3 months.

Ben got home later that day and I had taken another test which obviously also came out positive but I wanted to share that moment with him!

So it begins.....no longer a family of 2...which lasted all of 4 months...but now becoming a family of 3!  Boy?  Girl?